It's been a week, and in the past week I've been noticing a lot more about people here in Law School. Yeah, yeah, I'm coming back to that old high school analogy, but it only serves to remind me that very few people have any idea as to what they're doing here. Yes we all have a common goal, graduate with a legal degree. Yes we all accept that we will take different paths to get there. Most importantly though, Yes, we are as eager as possible to go out and drink with as many acquaintances as possible while badmouthing the village idiot [and NO, he is not an idiot savant], and sweet talking/commending the varied assets of the opposite sex...many of whom really are quite smart.
Yes, the characters in the classroom have been well established, the groups have been very nearly formed, but there was a lot of camaraderie between everyone after "Bar Review".
Bar Review is a very cleverly named attempt at allowing the 1Ls (that's the 400 people who just started at AU) a means of going out to a bar and getting reasonably priced drinks and reasonably drunk. [As I'm studying law, I've realized/learned that many aspects of the law boil down to being reasonable. Whether someone was reasonable in making some particular choice is the difference between...well, everything.] And, as it stands that we few hundred legal students have hit up the bar in hopes to become better friends with the other few hundred people we haven't met yet, tend to jump from reasonable, to rakish, to rubbish. And, we all do it as a team!
The next morning of course, everybody was in high spirits. No wait, they were high spirited. No, that's not it either. Everyone had the spirit...and the beer, seeping out of their pores as we spent an entire class discussing the 'efficient breach theory' and the 'efficient theft theory'. Yes, two full classes spent learning the efficient breach theory, one that basically says 'person A should breach a contract with person B, if person C offers them enough cash to make a profit even after paying the expected difference in money that they owe to B'. Long story shorter, if nobody loses anything, and at least one person gains something, it's a good deal, an efficient deal. 2 days. one idea. Transaction costs, we'll talk about those later. 2 days. 1 idea. efficiency.
People are pretty interesting, except when some of those people slow down the efforts of the class's educational flow. Classes have been crazy. It's been 2 weeks, I've had four classes. Two classes are 2 hours a day and 2 days a week. One class is 1.5 hours a day and meets 3 days a week. The last is 2 hours on Tuesday. So, according to my calculations, and my experiences in class, I've spent approximately 2.42 eternities in class. The past 2 weeks have been crazy. Most classes I'm sitting, listening to a lecture, understanding half of what's being said for about half the class and spending the other half the time trying really, really, really hard to figure out the complicated legal language being used. I admit, that's a bit of an exaggeration, sometimes the class slows way down, then I'm working really hard to resist the urge to check facebook, or utilize my resources to find out what the 23rd president's middle name was. Well, all that aside, these classes have presented lots of information, lots of new challenges of language and people, and a feeling that I haven't felt in awhile.
I. am. excited. It's been straight crazy these past two weeks. Sitting all around me are people who're after the top spot. The top spot isn't just about reading the words, or reciting the analysis; you need to commit. I've spent hours, upon hours, studying at the library. Me. Law Pal, at the library in weeks one and two of school. What's more? I want to be there, I'm excited to hit the books. I'm so excited about everything at school. The entire experience is currently overwhelming. It's hit a point where the difficulty of what I've enrolled in, and paid $40,000 to participate in, is currently way over my head.
This feeling is being thrown into a river for the first time. You know it's water, but everything is new. The floor is made of pebbles, or sand, or bugs, or fish. The water is freezing, you have to catch your breath and slow your heart. That first time though, you know that you're underwater, taking a deep breath, playing the normal game doesn't work. As the current flows by your body at different speeds, so do the questions of what's touching you and swimming by you and grazing your thigh and your chest. Suddenly all this information is just too much, five of your six senses are pulling in massive amounts of new information. Fresh water that's seeped into your mouth tastes cool and clean. Your touch has been heightened as every part of your body is connected to something tangible. You open your eyes to rays of sunlight pouring into the water around you, and the clouds of dust and sediment that explode from each touch on the river floor. The silence in your ears is broken by occasional gusts of flowing water. This overload of info quickly kicks your psychic self into overdrive. The visions of real and unreal possibilities all strike at once. Float to the top? Swim to the bank? Crawl on the ground? Turn into a fish? Jump to a tree? Drink all of the water? Drown?...
Here, here's where you have to make your choice. And when thinking about the choice you make, you find out more about yourself. What is it that scares and motivates you? Do you freeze up? Some would probably go for the bank, get out and take a look at what just happened. For me, I love it. Being completely overwhelmed offers me a challenge that I can't even imagine how to get over it. But putting aside all these possibilities of course the first thing to do is kick your legs, move your arms a bit, and peek your head out for some fresh air. Then, once breathing, I think plainly, "I don't know how yet. I don't know what I'm doing. I do know that there is a way; my way of navigating this water. I'll use the flow, make my own way, and come out on top."
I'm intimidated. I'm scared.
I haven't been this excited about what I'm doing in a long time, if ever.
As a kid you're excited to do whatever strikes your fancy; not so much as an adult. As an adult though, instead of being innocent excitement; it's packed with fears and experiences that children can't appreciate. Having an appreciation of this feeling magnifies the feeling twofold. I may not be ready, but then again, I don't mind being thrown in.
Everyone reading this,
Thank you. You've helped me get here, some more than others. But knowing those out there that are reading this, I really want to say, "Thank You".
I appreciate all of your love and help that got me here.
Law Pal
PS. Some post feel-good stories.
On the way home from 'the Container Store' where i purchased a small clothes rack for my closet, I crossed the street and had to walk around this little red sedan with its flashers on sitting in the crosswalk. This incredibly frail, 374 year-old second generation gypsy woman got out of the back seat with her cane and bag in hand. I think she might've been a gypsy, or Italian, she had an accent, but not strong enough to be misunderstood. Instead, the aged larynx made her tough to understand. Well, I walked by about 3 steps and waited to see if someone was going to get out of the car to help her. Nobody else got out. I was in a small hurry, it was 11:45, I was about 5 minutes from the house, and I wanted to be home by noon, but didn't have to be. Well, walked up and she took my arm. She was headed into the bank right there on the corner. So I walked her in. Then I waited for 20 minutes as she ever so elderly got cash from the banker. So finally having finished her transaction I helped her out of the bank to locate that small red sedan again. Luckily it was parked about 4 car-lengths down the road. So we gingerly made it to the car, her using my arm as balance. just before getting there, her grand-daughter got out and took her from me. And for the record, she was very sweet, and very appreciative. Sometimes, when thinking about the negative view people have of other people and the state of affairs in general, it is nice to play a role on the side for good.
Have you done your good deed today?
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